In Spirit and in Truth

The Yielding

2011-12-05T10:38:00.002-05:00

I resist surrendering my rights, my life and my will. Ironically, yielding is the door to inexhaustible life in Christ - not continual self-eradication or religious restriction.
Life lived in union with Christ is boundless, and makes all other life seem inanimate by comparison.
The cross becomes the means, but not the end. It is the precious access to communion with the Godhead. This is the joy set before me.

Circumstantial Evidence

2011-06-09T08:59:00.003-04:00

From "Fire and Fragrance" by Sean Feucht and Andy Byrd

"We have become slaves to our circumstances and live most of our life responding to what may come. These responses are not all negative but result in a life of defensive move after defensive move rather than a continual move forward as a disciplined army taking battlefield after battlefield on a road to sure victory."

I wear the overcomer name tag, but in reality I am the slave who bows to circumstances. I have a faith that requires circumstantial evidence. I have not completely fallen in love with Truth. What would life look like if, as the authors above suggest, I began that continual move forward, not directed by circumstances, but by Kingdom reality?

It's Time

2011-01-22T19:52:00.004-05:00

It's been quite awhile since I've posted on this blog. The times require response. So many voices are critical, harsh, terrorizing. I invite my generation to rise above common rhetoric, and conventional arguments, and begin to bring the Kingdom of God into our speech. How?
What if when you hear a position on something, you paused, and really listened? What if you began every conversation with the belief that the person speaking to you had something valuable to say?
What if, even if you completely disagree with a person's opinion or perspective, you fully honored their right to express that opinion?
What if you could learn something from everyone, even someone who you consider an opponent?

Jesus was never afraid of those who opposed Him.

John 10:17-18 "For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. "No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father."

The Greater MIracle

2009-03-01T16:15:00.002-05:00

When God heals cancer, we consider that a great miracle, because we have not yet eradicated cancer with human means.
When God heals a head ache, we consider that a small miracle, because we could take a pill and in a few minutes the head ache would end.
But I don't think it's so much the seriousness of the illness that determines how great the miracle is.
When you think about it, the fact that the Creator of the universe would heal a headache just because He is a loving, caring Father, makes the healing of a headache a pretty great event.

2009-02-16T10:36:00.003-05:00

The remedy for boredom is not busyness, it is a life engaged with God's life within me. He is the ultimate fascination.
In the same way, the remedy for busyness is not idleness, but rather, it is finding contentment in simply waiting in His presence.

2009-01-31T13:28:00.002-05:00

I read this today in Francis Frangipane's Newsletter. This man has a depth in Christ that is rare. I thought it was worth passing on.

"Today, I am living in the spiritual substance of what was just a dream thirty-eight years ago. My ambitions have suffered greatly, yet my dreams are being fulfilled. While I have not yet arrived at the greatest aspects of my calling, I understand the difference between ambition and true leadership and it is this:
Ministry is not a call to lead, but to die.

Every advance that I have made spiritually was preceded by an opportunity to die to self. The power in my life comes from where I have died to self and now live unto Christ.

Do you want to advance spiritually? The gateway to resurrection power is crucifixion. God will arrange opportunities for you to die to self. You must discern them. Dying to self and its ambition is the means of reaching true spiritual fulfillment. If you react to the opportunity to die with fleshly anger or resentment, you will fail to reach fulfillment. However, if you can maintain your vision even while your ambition dies, you will succeed."

The Jesus Prayer

2009-01-15T14:23:00.002-05:00

I've been researching yet another aspect of contemplative prayer. Always wanting more of God, deeper regions of His heart.
Some time ago I came across the ancient simple prayer:

JESUS CHRIST, SON OF GOD, HAVE MERCY ON ME A SINNER

That's all there is to it. The method is to repeat the words (and they can be another simple version of it) slowly, thoughtfully, bringing all your attention and focus onto Jesus.
It's a pretty big deal in the Eastern Orthodox churches, and they even have prayer beads that you use like a rosary, saying the simple prayer on each one.
I would never abandon my privlege of coming before the throne of grace, and pouring my heart out to my heavenly Father.
But this centuries old method of meditative prayer has, according to many, brought the believer into a deeper union with Christ, enabling them to overcome distractions while they quietly whispered these few words.
I present this to you for your consideration As with all contemplative prayer, this is not an "instant" anything. It does seem like a wonderful alternative to the noise both internal and external we all deal with in the place of prayer

A Nice Ending

2008-12-31T12:25:00.003-05:00

If my life in 2009 were a movie, the snow falling today would be a pretty ending, followed by a fade to black before the credits. The year was full of challenges, but, just like in the movies, everything has pretty well resolved. There were the hanky moments, to be sure. And scary ones too.
I wonder what the Author of Life is cooking up for 2009?

Cape Cod Road

2008-12-20T14:24:00.003-05:00

This is a real place, made more beautiful by memories. Our feet would burn running up those hot, sandy steps to the beautiful Cape Cod Sound beach on the other side of the hill.
I love the picture because it looks like a stairway to light. We all climb it, and sometimes our feet burn on the journey, but knowing what we are heading toward makes the temporary trial worth it.

A Dance Floor of Clouds

2008-12-11T10:46:00.003-05:00

In that realm of His glory and beauty, let me come. Let this earthen heart respond to His invitation to dance.
Peter walked on the water. I want to walk on wind. He responded to your call and did what his mind told him was impossible. As long as Peter kept his gaze on you, he kept defying the laws of gravity and physics. Then he looked at the wind. Funny, you can't see the wind. I think he looked at his experience with wind.
Grant me, God that my experience will not capture my gaze away from Your hand extended to me. Teach me not to be so afraid of what I do not understand. Help me to dance with You.

Know Thy Enemy

2008-11-24T08:46:00.002-05:00

I had a really hard time again yesterday leading worship. I got slammed by the enemy from several directions, and basically felt like quitting. The Lord broke through in spite of me, but it wasn't until later that I realized what had happened.
Because I was feeling so insecure, confused, etc. about leading worship, I didn't connect the attack with what my husband and I had been doing the day before.
We've just launched a program on helping people understand their kingdom identity and develop an action plan for the advancing of the kingdom of God within their sphere of influence. The program went really well. People were impacted. The kingdom of darkness was shaken!!
However, I didn't consider a spiritual backlash. And since the attack Sunday morning seemed to be all about worship, I didn't connect what was happening Sunday morning to what we had done Saturday.
So my learning was, the enemy will attack a place of weakness, and it may be retaliation for another area of ministry. I think next time, we'll get some intercessors on the wall before, during and after the kingdom program. Definitely do not want to go through another morning like that again.

Sow Hope

2008-11-20T08:43:00.005-05:00

Medical science has said that the human psyche can be deprived of even the basest elements. But if hope is gone, the person soon loses their will to live.

By offering hope, a man just won an election. I believe many voted for President-elect Obama because of his message of hope, even to the compromising of their values regarding life and marriage.
Hope is critical to survival. Without it we die. In this increasing climate of despair in my nation, let me sow hope.

In Christ, I have more to offer than a syrupy promise that things will get better. Jesus Christ gives life, and strength, and wisdom, and power and love, and peace. No empty promises. Only an empty tomb. He can't be voted out, He can only be invited in.

So I will sow hope to my nation. How? Not sure yet. But I know the One who knows.

The Freedom Ride

2008-11-09T20:35:00.004-05:00

Worship was a struggle for me today. Had some stuff going on that, while I was able to pray through some of it, more still hung on. I think the Lord is trying free me from some old junk, and that process is almost always rough. Funny how we cling tightly to the very things that keep us from being free.
I know He's committed to my freedom. It's just a hang-on-and-trust-kind of ride.

Turning Aside

2008-10-30T08:54:00.002-04:00

The sun filled my room this morning, drenching me in happy yellow rays. But in my spirit was a brighter morning, as the Lord enveloped me in His goodness. This so desperately needed refreshing came with such sweet gentleness, and in a climate of hope.
I've been bingeing on politics and economics these past few weeks. I actually thought that after next Tuesday things will calm down. Silly woman. Things will change, but they will definitely not calm down, or go back to "normal".

I pray you stop and taste His goodness today ~ a lusciou meal that makes you thrive.

He brought me more than nourishment today, He gave me companionship. Sure beats CNN.

No Worries

2008-09-19T07:28:00.006-04:00

So often I focus on what I've done wrong, or what I am not doing that I should be doing. That's followed by resolve to change. You'd think that at my age I would have realized by now that effective lasting change is never achieved that way (despite what all the self-help books tell me).
In contrast, Brother Lawrence seemed at peace with his weakness (didn't Paul boast in his?) He was clear about his need for God's help. Self sufficiency wars against the peace of dependence on God.
Here's Brother Lawrence's point of view on mistakes and weakness:

When someone in the monastery would tell Brother Lawrence that he had to do something a certain way, he never worried about it. He would just tell God that he needed His help, otherwise he could not possibly do it.

Also, when he did not do what he was supposed to do, he would tell God he was sorry, and then he would say, “I will probably do this again if you leave me to myself. I really need you to keep me from messing up, and to fill me up with what I need to do it right.” Then, he would just forget about his mistakes.

Double Yellow Lines Ahead

2008-08-22T08:09:00.002-04:00

Double yellow lines on the road, it means no passing. It's a good reminder of Brother Lawrence's advise:

Do not go faster than God's grace. Slow down and ask God what He wants you to do. In this way you will grow in holiness, bit by bit. One does not become holy all at once. Just think, you don't become an adult all at once either. It takes time.

Delicious

2008-08-21T07:28:00.005-04:00

Brother Lawrence once compared his interior gaze at God to a baby paying attention to his mother when he is being fed.

"The feeling is so perfectly sweet and delicious. If something happens to
take my mind and heart away from God, that sweet delicious feeling about
Him makes my heart want to go and let God hold me some more."

Maybe today will be the day you give up the chaos, and gaze at God as He holds you in his love.

The Chief End of Man

2008-08-13T10:29:00.002-04:00

Most theologians would agree, and expound in language much greater than my own, that the chief end of man is to "glorify God, and to enjoy him forever." (Westminster Shorter Catechism)
I guess for most of my life, I assumed that the enjoying part wouldn't really start until I died. Meanwhile, struggle through life, be good, and try to give glory to God in everything.
Be honest. Isn't that what comes to your mind too?
Well, consider this: that the forever started when we first believed? What if I could be enjoying Him now?
Funny thing is, I've heard a lot about glorifying God. But not as much about just enjoying Him. It's not as religious sounding, I guess.
I'll take it one step further. I believe He's enjoying us!
Maybe this book* isn't for kids. They seem to have no trouble enjoying God.

*Upcoming publication: How to Enjoy God All the Time - Adapted for children from The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence

A Reminder From A Dish Washer

2008-08-11T12:17:00.005-04:00

That's what Brother Lawrence was. He worked in the monestary kitchen. One of my favorite thoughts he serves us is this:

Don't think about your mistakes so much. God isn't thinking about them. He's just thinking about how He can help you."

That's pretty awesome.

How to Enjoy God All the Time: First Conversation

2008-07-21T13:18:00.005-04:00

Beginning today, and (with God's help) continuing for the next few weeks, I will be posting portions of my new book: How to Enjoy God All the Time.

This simple little book is an adaptation of The Practice of the Presence of God, by Brother Lawrence. A 16th century monk who worked in the kitchen of his monestary, he found the secret of intimacy with Christ. He simply talked to and listened to God all the time. His joy was almost uncontainable, as he went about his chores.

Brother Lawrence found no difference between washing dishes and when the monks gathered in the chapel for special times of prayer. He took so much delight in God, every hour was a prayer time for him.

Do you feel distant from God? Does the past keep drawing you back into shame or guilt? Do you feel like you never "do enough" for God? This little book will help you leave those fruitless, self-inflicted tortures, and enter the delightful garden of friendship with God.

First Conversation:

Brother Lawrence lived over three hundred years ago. He became a Christian when he was 18 years old. It happened like this: one winter, he saw a bare tree without leaves. He thought about how when winter was over, the tree would get its leaves back, then grow flowers and then grow fruit. This made him realize that God really cared about everything, even a little tree. And it made him love God so much he could never stop for the rest of his life.

He was a very clumsy guy who used to break things a lot. He thought that if he became a monk, they would teach him in the monastery how not to be so clumsy. He also thought that he could be really serious and pray serious prayers a lot in the monastery. But instead, because He just loved God with everything he did, he never was serious at all, just happy all the time.

His main idea was to just talk to God all the time. If he wasn’t talking to God, he was thinking about how nice He was, or how much God loved him. Then, no matter if the day was a good day or a bad day, Brother Lawrence was happy because he thought about God more than about the things that happened to him.

He didn’t really act surprised when people who didn’t know God did bad things. He just prayed for them and asked God to help them.

In everything, Brother Lawrence said God would show us how to be the kind of person He wants us to be. He said God would give us His light so we could see how things really are in our hearts, and then He would help us fix whatever needed to change.

Where are you going?

2008-06-11T11:03:00.004-04:00

What if this week, after our Sunday service, we asked the Lord where He was going next? I know He doesn't just sit in the sanctuary all week. He's moving and loving, and healing and kissing this generation. And He has already invited us to go with Him.
So what if we asked Him, where do you want me to stop on my way home? Should I buy some groceries for a neighbor? Should I pick up some cash to drop by at a single mom's apartment, to remind her God cares? Should I go the nursing home and do a crossword puzzle with an old man who can't see the words too well, but still knows a six letter word for companion?

Lovesick

2008-03-14T12:00:00.007-04:00

I am already seeing spring! I have the privlege of watching three young couples in the spring time of love. It has made Solomon's song come alive to me

"See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come,

the cooing of doves is heard in our land.

The fig tree forms its early fruit;

the blossoming vines spread their fragrance."

SoS 2:11-13

As I watch their love blaze, my own heart is being refreshed. And I ask myself, "Is this the temperature of my love for Jesus?"

In each of these dear young ones, there is sizzling, single-hearted devotion. Their days are consumed with thoughts of one another. And, especially for one couple who are presently living in two different states, there is the intense longing of lovesickness.

"How can I smile, when my beloved is far from me?" she laments. "How can I impress her with my devotion? he muses. Oh, blessed youth, you have inspired me with your passion.

Holy Spirit of Love, will you grant me the fire again? Will you so capture my heart for my Bridegroom, that I too am lovesick?

Let my thoughts always wander to Your beauty. Let my longing increase, so that only Your presence will satisfy.

" Come be the fire inside of me. Come be the flame upon my heart - until You and I are one.*

From "Relentless" new album by Misty Edwards.

Enjoy God more - worry less

2008-02-09T12:32:00.000-05:00

Exactly when I needed it, I've been asked to re-read The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. This classic simplifies our relationship with God like no other book. I always have pictured Brother Lawrence as this slightly portly monk - maybe half elf - with always a twinkle in his eye. I picture him talking to catepillars and copying bird calls in the hopes of conversation with them. Everything was delightful to him. He just loved God and talked to Him all day long.
My favorite thing about Brother Lawrence was that his prayer time wasn't any different for him than washing dishes. It was all worship, all love, all delight.
He hardly spent time on his faults and failures, except to report them to God, and tell God that if He didn't want them repeated, it was up to God to keep Brother Lawrence in grace. I like that. So sweet, so easy. Getting on with the enjoyment of God. Wonder why that always seems like the thing I forget to do.
I'm working on a children's version of the book - what a wonderful foundation for them. The thing is, as I put the language in simpler form it feels like the message is going deeper in me.
WOOOWOOO. Good job, God.
I want to do more of this. In fact, I think for Lent, I'm giving up worry!

Bondservant Training

2008-01-30T22:20:00.000-05:00

Kathie Walters is a unique gift to the body of Christ. She sent out this great message today about revival. The line really got to me was: " There isn’t such a thing as a revival that doesn’t interrupt your life and lifestyle." That sort of shocked me, because it made me realize how much I am in control of my life instead of giving God control. I'm learning how to be a bondservant. I am so glad my Master is patient.
If you want to read more of Kathie Walters, check it out at www.goodnews.netministries.org

My prayer

2008-01-23T08:47:00.000-05:00

God, I am asking You for a wild, abandoned worshipping army.
I am asking You to gather a company of saints
Who are deliriously, extravagantly, and passionately in love with Jesus.
Who know that the Lamb is worthy to receive the rewards of His suffering
Who are not ashamed of the name of Jesus,
Who love the Lamb more than their own lives
Who will be the dread champions wreaking havoc on the enemy of His cross
Who will pursue You in the power of the Holy Spirit
Who will deny themselves, and embrace the cross
Who will hate sin, and live undefiled, holy lives
Whose war cry is:
Got to have Him
Got to see Him
Got to die
So I can live in Him

This is what I ask for God
Start the army with me.

You Will Answer Me

2008-01-19T09:13:00.000-05:00

Make glad the soul of Your servant,

For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,

And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You.

Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer;

And give heed to the voice of my supplications!
In the day of my trouble I shall call upon You,

For You will answer me.

For four days now, my husband has been in the hospital. Both he and I have experienced the nearness and faithfulness of our God. While we are to praise the Lord at all times, we've all had the some times when it was a battle to lift our eyes above the circumstances and see that God is still good and faithful. He is always good. Our circumstances, however, are not always good.

It was in our weakest moments this week, that He carried us deeper into the ocean of His love.

While we do not understand this trial, we intend to grow through it - into His likeness more and more.

The Not-So-Good Samaritan

2008-01-11T22:04:00.000-05:00

I drove through a downpour on my way to work this morning. I drove slowly, thankful that it wasn't snow, which would have been more seasonal for the northeast. Suddenly I saw a man walking in the deluge. He looked in his 70's
My first thought was that he was crazy for walking on such a miserable morning. But after I drove past him, I wondered if I should have stopped and offered him a ride. I shouldn't really pick up strangers, I thought. I'm a woman, he's a man. (Although I did have our 70 lb. dog in the car stretched out in the back seat.)
I started to feel terrible that I had driven past. I turned into the next driveway and started back down the hill where I had just come from. It was difficult to even see the road, it was raining so hard. I drove almost all the way to my house, but I didn't see the old man.
Maybe he was almost home when I passed him. Maybe he got another ride. Maybe this. Maybe that. The point was, I had missed an opportunity to help. And worse yet, it didn't occur to me right away that I should. That's what really surprised me.
Lord, my heart needs changing. I want to be like You.

Revelation Song

2008-01-09T14:19:00.001-05:00

Raw Worship

2008-01-03T12:56:00.000-05:00

What if we took away the instruments, and the sound system, and the vocals and the lyrics, and all we had left was our hearts before God?
What if in that sacred silence we just bowed our lives and love before the Most High?
And what if we found out that just being before our Creator delighted His heart more than we could ever know?
Sounds like heaven.

The Bondservant

2007-12-30T07:10:00.000-05:00

My husband and I watched the MorningStar New Year's Conference via live webstreaming last night. Amazing technology. You can watch at www.morningstarministries.org
Rick Joyner was the speaker and one of the things he talked about was being a bond servant of the Lord. He wasn't advocating we get up in the morning and ask the Lord which shirt to wear, but he was saying that we should be asking, "Master what do You want me to do today."
I confess I fall so short on that. I am used to putting my life in drive, and then going through my day making my own decisions, setting my own agenda.
One area I became very aware of is choosing songs for the service. I usually just expect that the Lord will put on my heart the songs that He wants for that day. Sometimes I would feel a real quickening in my heart, like a burst of flame, feeling like a particular song really expressed my love for Him. Not that any of that is bad. But there hasn't been a real conscious focus on listening for His choices.
So I did this morning. I asked Him. Three songs came to mind pretty quickly. Maybe He's been waiting for me to ask.

Kid stuff

2007-12-27T08:28:00.000-05:00

Recently, I handed five year old Barnabus the mic during our Sunday worship service, because he was so caught up in the joy of what we were doing and singing. He just kept shouting, "I am free! I am free!" I could have focused on his lack of theological understanding, that he really didn't comprehend what being free meant. But there was something so pure in it all. Sure he loved the mic, and sure he loved the attention. But when he shouted those three little words, it felt like all of heaven was cheering.
I wonder sometimes if my worship gets so bogged down in doctrinal correctness, and being musically as excellent as we can that I forget it is supposed to be a joyful expression of love to my Father.
I'm all for orthodoxy, but it was never meant to replace passion. I think it was meant to protect it. Anyone else struggle with this?

First words

2007-12-26T08:43:00.000-05:00

Good Morning! This is the first post in the all new worship blog!
I'm new at this, so if I'm too wordy (or not wordy enough) let me know.
I am a worship leader - or rather, I am a lead worshipper. The Holy Spirit is always the worship leader. If I can follow Him, He will always exalt Jesus.
So how do I follow the Holy Spirit? Sometimes I simply cannot tell where He is going or what He is doing, so I wait. I'm practicing waiting a lot these days - or "contemplative prayer" as it is called. It challenges my busy mind to quiet down and just be with God.
This to me is the highest form of worship.